Well now we know what he’d do!

Sing along, everybody!

What would Brian Boitano do
If he was here right now?
When part of the plan then he’d follow through
That’s what Brian Boitano’d do

When Brian Boitano was sent to the Olympics,
We all knew his roll
But the Russians could claim that they didn’t know
While wearing their blindfolds

When Brian Boitano knew he was sent,
To walk among the bears
He came forward and said it right
So they’d know over there

So what would Brian Boitano do
If he were here today?
I’m sure he’d kick an ass or two,
That’s what Brian Boitano’d do.

Throw your curses at the IOC,
They made sure the athletes’ speech  cannot be free
And too many Russians won’t listen to anyone
But there’s a thing a few can do
And that’s what Brian Boitano’d do

And what would Brian Boitano do
Before he came to town?
He’d arm himself with a potent truth
That’s what Brian Boitano’d do

When Brian Boitano was asked about this
In the year 2010,
He didn’t expose his private life
Cause there was no point then

So when Brian Boitano came out at last,
He beat on Putin’s laws
Cause Brian Boitano doesn’t take shit from anybody

So go forth you gay athletes
And be sure to win lots of golds
And come out at the right time for you
Cause that’s what Brian Boitano do

Yes, come out at the right time for you
Cause that’s what Brian Boitano’d do
Cause that’s what Brian Boitano ‘d do!

Seriously, had Brian Boitano come out a week ago, everyone would’ve shrugged.  But by doing it as a delegate to Sochi, he forces the Russians to openly welcome and be respectful to three gay athletes instead of just two.  And the statement he made, emphasizing that this is just part of what he is, that those who would attempt to ignore everything else he is in favor of making it all about this one thing are wrong to do so, is another shot that those homophobes who try to dehumanize gays however they can.  Well done, sir.  Well done.

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