Happy Cince de Mayo, Tom tells us after a briefing opening, but tonight the business is not do happy; there is a double elimination, and no certainty that the two couples that go will be the two that ought to. We get a look at the total leaderboard of everyone’s scores from last week and last night combined, on which this results show will depend. Then we get the encore dance, which the judges choose, and it’s Rumer, Val, & Artem’s paso doble trio.
After they perform, Rumer & Val also get a montage of “backstage” clips all to themselves, and are put up on stage all alone. After several moments of suspense they’re thankfully called safe for the semi-finals next week.
Next comes the most anticipated part of tonight: the return of Dance Center! Once again Len joins Kenny Mayne and Jerry Rice for this hilarious parody of ESPN’s Sports Center, as they show funny fact sheets of three of the celebrities at a time, with Len making serious comments on the dancing and the other two making deadpan comments on sillier issues. They proceed to accuse Robert of trying to bribe the judges, Chris of having kindergarten math skills because he needed to count out the beat one week, and Riker of secretly being bald. Hey, it’s all towards the purpose of putting Len is a tiara and other fancy getup and Jerry in a Riker-style wig.
After Erin interviews a safe Rumer and a nervous Riker, we get another couple going up on stage alone: Chris and Witney. We are given time to think they really should be gone, and they may be: they’re in jeopardy.
First special guest performer of the night is Carly Rae Jepsen, singing current single “I Really Like You.” Unfortunately Tom Hanks isn’t available tonight, so an accompaniment by six of the pros has to suffice.
Noah & Sharna comes out, and Robert & Kym come out with them. After backstage clips including Noah taking a tumble during the dress rehearsal, we are official told: one of them’s in and one of them’s out. Robert & Kym are scored considerably lower, but will this whole showmance thing get them enough votes to get out of this?
Nope. Robert & Kym are eliminated, with it noted they were the lowest and would’ve been going even without the double elimination. Which after the last couple of weeks, is actually kind of sad. Erin asks them what we all want to know: what are they going to do with each other now? But they don’t answer her question, and prodding from Tom doesn’t get anything either. Ah well.
Dance Center is back to profile our other three remaining celebs. Kenny Mayne seems to think Nastia’s last name is Putin and she’s Russian, and that Noah saves energy by only doing half the steps, and then there’s some confusion on what he means when he says he doesn’t like his “package.” Which leads into a bit of talk about Rumer’s ass, and finally an excuse to make Len look like Mr. Potato Head.
Then we get a special dance performance: So You Think You Can Dance alum Travis Wall & his show, Shaping Sound. Allison and Jenna Johnson join the group as they perform a hard, powerful dance making use of moving brick walls that is pretty much the highlight of the night.
The final two couples are marched out for results, with clips, in which we learn that Nastia too is now unhappy with her packaging, and Riker is not happy about Len’s Nine ruining his would-be perfect score. He’s probably even less happy about it when still having a single point on Nastia isn’t enough to keep him and Allison from being declared in jeopardy, while Nastia & Derek are called safe. Although when there’s a twenty-point difference between them and Chris & Witney, it’s hard to think they’re going home. Indeed, Erin interviews Chris & Witney after this, and while they say they don’t know it’s pretty clear they think they’re going home.
But first Josh Groban gets to sing. He does “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” while Maddie Ziegler leads two more young dancer around the floor. Very balletic and lovely.
And then finally Chris & Witney and Riker & Allison come out to end this. All logic would say it’s time for Chris & Witney to go, especially since while Bachelors do sometimes stay longer than they should, their fanbase is not one that’s going to overcome *that* big a point difference. But this season’s been so crazy you just can’t be entirely sure…
Big sigh of relief: Chris & Witney are the ones out. Chris is too tearful to say much. Witney calls it a “most rewarding season.” Kinda strange since she won the last one, but okay.
It’s the right couples to clear out, more or less, and it’ll make for a good semi-final. Unless something even crazier happens there…