Dancing With the Stars, Season 20, Week 9, Night 2, Results

Second results show of the season, and this one’s going to take some stretching, with only four couples left.  At least they’ve got a lot to recap.  Starting, of course, with Noah’s proposal, and we get a review of the ballroom’s reactions, and an interview with the newly engaged couple, and we learn that while only the producers knew about the proposal beforehand, Noah did alert Riker and give him a chance to object, since he was dancing next, but thankfully he felt he could follow it fine.

This is, naturally, followed by the recap clips of the dancing, although that too ends up focusing heavily on the proposal, and then Noah & Sharna are on the stage alone for their results.  This is the sort of situation where, when they’re only four points off the lead, one is starting to suspect they’ll be called safe and leave our heads spinning on which of the three season powerhouses will be going instead…but no, they’re in jeopardy.

First filler performance is another tour promo!  This one is for the Almay Simply American tour, which debuts Friday in New York and then heads around the country, raising money to help American military women and their loves ones.  The number performed on the floor tonight is indeed very Americana, but it’s very high-quality Americana.

After an interview with the four remaining pros, Riker & Allison are brought out for results.  The recap clips include Allison getting choked up after their first number.  And they’re into the final, which makes them jump around a lot.

The next filler piece proves the night’s highlight.  Sasha & Emma are given the challenge of portraying a “century of dance” in two minutes, and they do it, with great dancing.  Also an abandoned warehouse and lots of fun special effects, but they feel like they’re serving the chronological narrative.

Nastia & Derek’s recap includes Derek’s confession he was too nervous to watch her with Sasha, but once again it’s the number with Len and the backstage clips with him that truly provide the feels.  And they are…in jeopardy!  Even under the circumstances that feels shocking, and the ballroom makes no secret of their dismay.

Another interview: Rumer, talking about how the show has helped her self-confidence.  Riker’s there too, but he just gets congratulated.  Then the female pros take the floor, dancing to a very modern “I am Woman” song, with very modern moves, and lots of lighting effects, some of which are a little weird.  There’s a clip of the pros talking about the four semi-finalists, before the mandatory pop star performance, and it’s Flo Rida, doing his current hit, “GDFR.”  But he fills the floor with the audience, and the only dancing is of the oversexed background kind.

Now Rumer & Val gotta get their results, and as one would expect Bruno steals the show during the recap.  We’ve got two couples in jeopardy already, so you think they’re probably safe…but no, they’re in jeopardy too!  They’re dragging this one out to the end, it seems.

Nastia gets to do an interview where she talks mostly about deal with Derek’s injury, and then we get another recap.  This one is a season-long recap using fluff footage, and we get a look into how all the rehearsal footage is logged and keyworded for use.  If this is their reaction to an unusually high number of complaints about the fluff packages this season, I’m not sure how I feel about it.

And for our last number tonight: promo meets nepotism!  Riker’s brother Ross Lynch leads the cast of Disney Channel movie Team Beach 2 in a number called “Gotta Be Me.”  He looks so much like Riker it’s kind of disorientating, especially since he’s not that bad a dancer either.

And now Nastia & Derek, Noah & Sharna, and Rumer & Val are lined up, and Noah & Sharna is called safe.  That means.  One of the other two couples.  Are going.  So is this Rumer & Val paying for their failure to get a perfect score, or Derek suffering one of his late shockers again, or Rumer not being famous enough, or-oh just screw it, neither of these two couples should miss the finale, CAN WE JUST CALL THE WHOLE DAMN THING OFF, PLEASE?

Nope.  It’s Nastia & Derek out.  It’s just…sad.  Nothing but sad.  She makes some comments and there’s a montage, but really, it’s just sad.

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